


Brink

by Elivra



Series: Tender Nothings [10]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst because of what follows in canon, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, M/M, Old Men In Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 05:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16612421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elivra/pseuds/Elivra
Summary: The night before possibly his most important expedition, Erwin seeks out Levi. Canon missing scene post manga chapter 72 / anime episode 49.Rated for swearing, as always.This story can be read individually or as ordered chronologically inTender Nothings.





	Brink

**Author's Note:**

> This is it, guys. The penultimate story in this little series of mine.
> 
> I'd just like to say thank you to all you lovely readers that stuck with the series from fic one. You guys are awesome.
> 
> For everyone else, here, have the most romantic canon Eruri I have ever written. :)
> 
> Happy reading!

Erwin had checked and rechecked his plans so many times he knew the words by heart. Their route map was precisely plotted, their formations flawless, their instructions and command structures thorough. And yet.

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh and brushed his hand over his face. Planning for this expedition had felt completely surreal. He had been Commander for years now, one of the longest tenures in the history of the Corps, possibly _the_ longest in an era other than what could only be called peace-time in the years before the fall of Wall Maria. He was well-acquainted with the responsibilities and the risks that came with his role.

And yet.

The knowledge of a government that worked positively with his Corps, that actively promoted their operations was still much of a novelty for him. He was used to scheming and planning the logistical side of his faction as well -working closely with finance and accounts, with horsetraders and blacksmiths, grain merchants and cloth merchants, even kitchen staff and bloody housekeeping to make sure his Corps would run like the efficient machine he envisaged it to be. Now a former subordinate was his Queen, and soldiers that had once scoffed and jeered at him were transferring into his Corps, clamouring for his attention, offering up hearts that he had desperately craved for over the years. The war was still on, but in a way, he had already secured victory for his Corps.

Erwin started at his own choice of words. _His_ Corps? He gave himself an internal chuckle. Of course it bloody well was.

He focused on the topmost document on the desk in front of him -a detailed roster of the participants of their expedition on the following day. There, just below his own name right on top of the list was a name, newly adorned with a surname, that gave him pause.

The strange twisting feeling in his chest that he had been experiencing all day intensified. He glanced at his small pocketwatch, and, mentally berating himself for staying up so late, he stood up heavily, shaking invisible cobwebs off of himself. He took a deep breath and hardened his resolve.

_Might as well._

He shuffled the papers into vague order, dimmed the lamps in his office, grabbed his coat, and left.

The quiet corridors of the Corps Headquarters were familiar and calming to Erwin. He was prone to nighttime walks that he took to clear his head and stretch his legs. Admittedly, he hadn’t been able to do a lot of that in the past year. Things had happened so quickly Erwin was still reeling, and he suspected he wasn’t the only one. He remembered Mike’s words not long ago: “Smells like a runaway dump truck.” It had made him laugh, and in their dire circumstances at the time, the light humour had been welcome.

Remembering Mike almost set him off on the dark path that his mind was prone to traversing, a feat turning more and more easy in the past couple months, especially since his little stint at prison. But no, he would not dwell on it tonight. Not yet, anyway. He still had a mission.

Though the hour was late, he saw several people still awake. Groups of them lounged in the quadrangle, he also espied pairs of people trying to be discreet in the dark, but just their demeanour was ostentatious enough. He supposed he had to put a stop to them, but couldn't bring himself to do so. His own mood pervaded the rest of the Corps -a feeling of trepidation and excitement, a sense of a fast-approaching end or beginning of _something_.

He made his way to the roof first and foremost and was surprised when he didn't find his quarry. Frowning to himself, he descended and went to the officer quarters instead -only to find empty rooms.

 _Curious_. Erwin thought he knew the man's habits, but the only thing reinforced in Erwin’s mind was his unpredictability. He made his way to the mess hall; a late night cup of tea was not out of character, after all.

But Erwin never made it inside.

For, sitting on the steps of an alcove just outside the hall, was Levi himself. The clear glass he held was half filled with something that was definitely _not_ tea. A crystal bottle sat beside him, a bottle Erwin recognised as one Levi had confiscated from his own shelves years ago.

“Levi?” He could not hold his shocked whisper back.

Levi turned bleary eyes on him. “I don't have a spare glass.”

“I… thank you, but I'm not drinking tonight.” He hesitated a moment before sitting down carefully next to the man. “What's the occasion?” He asked, keeping his tone light.

Levi took a sip of his drink. “Didn't you hear? We're liberating humanity tomorrow.”

“Only trying to reclaim Wall Maria.”

Levi shrugged. “It's all the same to them.” Erwin took care not to question the 'them’, while Levi continued, “It's incredible, how quickly they blow things out of proportion. A single failed Expedition used to mean the Survey Corps was obsolete. Useless. And now, one expedition to reclaim lost territory is already humanity's victory.” Levi shook his head slightly. “I don't understand.”

“You don't have to,” Erwin said, after a moment's thought. “That's my job.” His words were meant to lift his spirits, but Levi simply asked, “What do you want, Erwin?”

“Your company,” Erwin said, as if it was obvious. It ought to be. “Unless you wish to remain alone.”

Levi did not respond for several seconds. “No,” he said quietly, and Erwin felt himself relax a little more. Levi sat up. “I'll fetch you a glass from the hall-”

“Stay.”

As always, one word from him was enough for Levi. Erwin had long since given up on trying to pinpoint the moment Levi had begun to listen to him with such diligence. He hadn't even noticed when or how it had begun: before he knew it, it had become a habit. Wherever Erwin went, Levi followed. Whatever Erwin asked of him, Levi did.

And whatever Levi wanted, Erwin gave. To the best of his abilities.

He leaned back when Levi did, and both of them stared at the night sky for sometime, the silence familiar and comfortable.

“Do you know what the 'sea’ is?” Levi asked abruptly, and the question was so unexpected coming from him, Erwin started. Tonight was proving to be a night full of surprises.

“I believe that is what they call the giant lake that covers most of the world,” Erwin said cautiously, his question obvious in his own response.

Levi ignored the hint. “Hmph. So you do know.”

Erwin turned back to the stars. “I saw it in one of my father's books.”

“Right. I forgot.”

The silence was anything but comfortable now, and Erwin glanced at him. “Levi-”

“Did you know,” Levi cut in suddenly, his voice softer, “that it's all saltwater?”

_… What?_

“Salt?” Erwin whispered.

Levi's steel eyes flashed at him. “You didn't know.”

“No.” Erwin admitted, feeling a sudden spark of excitement. “Then that would mean… the amount of salt that that would entail…”

“More salt than all the merchants in the world could ever use up,” Levi supplied. “Apparently.”

“That's amazing,” Erwin breathed. Levi glanced at him again.

“How do you know?” Erwin prodded him.

Levi shrugged slowly, a graceful roll of his shoulders. “Heard someone talking. Could be wrong, though.”

“But you think that's likely?”

“Doesn't matter what I think,” Levi muttered, dismissive, and Erwin felt a familiar flare of indignation.

“That's not true,” Erwin said. “You know I appreciate-”

“It clearly doesn't matter, Erwin, so stop fucking lying.” He should have been screaming those words, or hissing them in anger, but Levi's voice was an even monotone. Somehow, the effect of those words felt stronger because of it.

“You cannot believe that after all these years,” Erwin insisted. “You cannot underestimate your own worth after -after everything we-”

“Understood,” Levi interrupted yet again, and it was amazing how he found the word that cut through to Erwin's heart most deeply -the most impersonal, dismissive response he could have given him.

But before Erwin could speak, they were distracted by two figures sneaking across the dark courtyard. One of the soldiers let out a giggle that carried through the quiet, but the other one noticed them, and froze.

“Captain,” the man said shakily, “and C-Commander, sir!” He shifted to an immediate salute, and the other soldier followed in the next second.

Erwin thought he recognised the voice. “Gaspard,” he nodded.

“Sir, I was just… we were just…”

Erwin almost smiled at his nervous stammering. Gaspard was one of the young ones in the Corps, barely out of his teens.

“Our mission tomorrow is extremely important,” Erwin commented pleasantly, “so make sure you're well rested.”

“Of course, Sir!”

“Speaking of, I believe I must practice what I preach.” Erwin stood up, and dusted his pants with his hand. “Levi?”

For a second Levi stared steadily back at him, and Erwin was almost afraid he would insist on staying. Then he blinked, and wordlessly took Erwin's outstretched arm and pulled himself up. He let go of Erwin's hand immediately to pick up the bottle and glass from the ground, and to distract himself from the loss of his touch, Erwin turned back to the two soldiers who were still saluting.

“Well, good night, Gaspard,” Erwin nodded, thinking back to when he'd seen Gaspard train, to the people he seemed to hang around most. “And Karl,” he guessed, glancing at the second soldier whose face was still hidden in the shadows.

Gaspard looked so mortified, his face turned so red that Erwin smiled as soon as they turned round the corner.

“That was very lenient of you,” Levi commented.

“It's a momentous occasion. Far be it for me to interfere in their goodbyes, however and to whomever they choose to give it,” Erwin said reasonably. “Besides, I always have been lenient in these matters, have I not?”

He glanced at Levi, who shrugged. “I guess. More so than that coward Shadis, anyway.”

Erwin simply shook his head; he had long since given up on curbing Levi's disdain for his predecessor.

“Sometimes I wonder how they do it,” Levi mumbled after a moment's pause.

“Hmm?”

“How do you leave family behind and go on these expeditions?”

“They do it so their families stay safe,” Erwin reminded him.

Levi clicked his tongue. “No, that's why they _join_ the Survey Corps. Riding out to death while leaving family behind is different.”

“Would you be unwilling, then?” Erwin asked him, curious. “Would it be harder for you if there was someone to come back to?”

They had reached Erwin's door and they both stopped while Erwin waited for him to respond. He wished he could see Levi's face, but Levi had his head bent down, the fringes of his silky hair hiding his expression from the world.

“Better than having to ride out with them,” Levi muttered finally, and Erwin's hand stilled on the doorknob and his heart actually _stuttered_.

“Which is why I think Karl and Gaspard are being fools,” Levi added, throwing a sharp glance up at him.

Lifelong experience of hiding his true feelings made Erwin able to rally. “Young love,” he said quietly, “is often foolish.” He stepped inside the room, leaving the door open. Even now, he was uncertain about Levi's mood, uncertain about his own feelings, hoping Levi would follow, then scolding himself for hoping in the first place.

But then he heard Levi's footsteps behind him, the gentle click of the door as it shut, and he almost let out a sigh of relief. Levi, however strange his mood seemed to be, never disappointed him. Erwin hid a smile as he fetched a glass from the cabinet.

He turned around to see Levi looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “I thought you wouldn't drink tonight?”

“I thought you wouldn't drink alcohol ever?” Erwin countered.

“Tch.” Levi crossed over to the table by the window and placed the bottle and glass on it. “Cheeky, aren't you?”

“Always,” Erwin beamed at him, holding out his glass, watching him pour the alcohol. Then he raised his glass, while Levi followed suit, almost unwillingly.

“To the success of tomorrow's expedition,” Erwin toasted, and Levi's gaze flickered away to rest on the floor again. “And,” Erwin added, taking a chance, “to young love.”

Levi tsked softly, and Erwin smiled into his glass. The alcohol was excellent; Erwin recognised it to be scotch, the only alcohol to which Levi had given his grudging approval. For a simple man, he certainly had expensive tastes.

“What's that shitty smile for?” Levi snapped, and Erwin realised he was grinning openly.

“Just -you.”

Levi rolled his eyes and sat on the chair by the table. “Good to know my vagaries keep you entertained.”

Erwin sat down opposite him. “They reaffirm my understanding of the world, that's all.”

Levi snorted. “Everyone is unique, so nobody is?”

Erwin smiled. “Something like that.”

They were quiet again, and Erwin had the rare opportunity to simply _watch_ Levi. The way his steel gaze was never still, always flitting to some corner or the other, always checking back at the doors, windows, any viable hiding places. The way the rest of him was perfectly still, like a statue, only moving to gracefully lift the glass and drink. The way his eyes touched upon everything except Erwin, the way his entire form was leaning away from him…

“You're doing the creepy stare again.” Levi was still looking away in a pointed manner.

“Sorry,” Erwin gave him a rueful smile. “Just trying to figure out if you're still mad at me.”

“And?”

“I think you are.”

Levi leaned forward, placing his forearms on the table. “Not a very impressive trick,” and suddenly his gaze was cutting Erwin, “when it's a constant state you put me in these days.”

To anyone else, Erwin would have been brusque, scathing, telling them to shoulder the responsibility of their own emotions. But not Levi. Never him.

“I'm sorry,” Erwin said, as sincerely as he could muster. “For putting you through so much.”

Levi stared at him for a long moment, almost as if he were turning him inside out, examining him for even a shred of falsehood. Erwin stared back as evenly as he could, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart.

Then Levi rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink. “Whatever. It's not like you can help it. You have a condition.”

Sudden warmth spread through Erwin's veins and he grinned. “The ‘Make Levi Mad Condition’?”

“That's the one.”

Erwin chuckled, and the firm set of Levi's mouth softened _just_ so.

“No paperwork tonight?” Levi asked after a moment, his voice considerably less frigid.

“Believe it or not, no.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “The hell, Erwin, we should be toasting to _that_.”

“True enough.” Erwin raised his glass and clinked it gently against Levi's. “To no paperwork.” Their drinks were almost over anyway, and so when they finished them Levi set about refilling their glasses without being asked.

“Let's make this the last one,” Erwin said. “We need to be at our alert best tomorrow, after all.”

Levi glanced at him as he stoppered the bottle. “Don’t tell me you can't handle any more.”

“Ah, what can I say.” Erwin shook his head in mock sadness. “Old age.”

It did what Erwin was aiming for: Levi's lips curled in a small smirk. “So you finally admit it. This day is full of surprises.”

For some reason, his words seemed to send a jolt in his mind. Erwin remembered thinking practically the same thing just a while ago when he had found Levi. To think that their minds ran in such similar paths…

They were quiet again and the drinks were soon over. Erwin lingered over the last few drops of liquor left, watching Levi as he swallowed the last gulp of his drink, pale throat flexing, and then as he placed the empty glass almost soundlessly on the table.

“What would you do?” Levi asked suddenly, softly, his fingers lingering on the glass. “If there was someone waiting for you to come back?”

The question did not surprise him. “I can't pretend to know for sure,” Erwin mused. “I would like to say it would not have affected my judgement, but…”

“But you didn't want to take any chances,” Levi finished for him, his finger tracing the rim of the glass. “So you made sure you didn't have that option.”

“Seems rather heartless of me, doesn't it.” His question was wry, rhetorical.

“Yes.” Levi answered him anyway.

Erwin gave him a single, stiff nod. This was why he had always appreciated Levi's words, his company. He was never one to beat around the bush, to mince his words, to soften the blow. For a man who grew up as a murderous thug, he was astonishing in his honesty, in his steadfast rejection of deceit. For a man like Erwin, he was refreshing, a counterweight to his own opinions.

A _necessity_.

Erwin was jarred out of these thoughts by the shrill sound of the chair being pushed back, and when he looked up, surprised, Levi was standing right in front of him, knife-point eyes cutting him yet again.

“But we know why that is, don't we?” Levi's voice was hushed, and Erwin unconsciously leaned forward.

“Why?”

Levi leaned in and placed a gentle palm on Erwin's chest.

Right above his thudding heart.

“Because,” and Erwin was gaping at him, stunned, “you offered up your heart years ago.” His thin fingers curled into a fist, and Erwin had to check that they weren't curled around a blade, because _what was this stabbing feeling in his chest?_

Erwin was not often at a loss for words, and this was one of those rare moments he was floundering like a fish out of water. A quiet voice in the back of his mind told him this always seemed to happen when Levi was around, but Erwin was barely listening.

Instead, he was caught in Levi's gaze, some terrible emotion sparking in those eyes -but wait, not grey, _blue_ eyes, he realised with a jolt.

Levi's eyes were _blue_.

He let out a hoarse chuckle, and his hand went to Levi's face, unbidden.

“You never cease to surprise me,” Erwin murmured, and he felt Levi's fist clench tighter on his chest.

“Good, keep you on your toes,” he muttered gruffly, his breath warm on Erwin's face. “Unlike you, you predictable old piece of-”

Erwin leaned up and pressed his mouth onto Levi's. He drew away almost immediately, but not out of regret -never regret. He had known for a long time that Levi was one of a kind, an irreplaceable part of his life. No, he was only concerned that Levi regretted it, that Levi would distance himself-

Levi's fists were suddenly bunched at his collar. A flash of his -midnight _blue_ -eyes, and Levi's lips were on his again, and this time the kiss was firmer, deeper; this time, Erwin didn't want to end it at all.

When they broke apart, their noses almost touching, Erwin found himself lost yet again in Levi's gaze. There were a hundred million things Erwin wanted to tell him, hundreds of apologies and thousands of confessions. He could feel the words spinning into place in his head already, for words were his strength, words were his choicest weapon.

But Levi, Humanity's Strongest, did not need his strength. Levi, who had carved himself an immutable place in Erwin's life, did not deserve a _weapon_.

And so Erwin simply stared back, hoping that all those hundreds of millions of words he wanted to say were apparent enough in his eyes.

Levi did seem to understand. He smoothed Erwin's collar gently, clearing the wrinkles he had created in his tight grasp. “Big day tomorrow,” his voice was a whisper, “You need to sleep.”

He tried to move away, but Erwin's hand stayed firm on the back of his neck.

“So do you,” Erwin said softly.

Levi let out a small sigh, a slow nod. They didn't speak as they prepared to go to bed - Levi had long since claimed a drawer for himself in Erwin's shelves - and not a word as they slipped under the covers and stilled, facing each other.

Levi's eyes were gimlets of quicksilver in the dark, and realising with a thrill that he needed to hold himself back no longer, Erwin reached forward and brushed his thumb on the sunken skin under one of Levi's eyes. He felt rather than saw him stiffen up, and then he felt his rough-skinned palm grasp his wrist.

“Your eyes are blue,” Erwin said in explanation.

“Yeah.” He muttered in a way that told Erwin he didn't understand. “So are yours.”

“I thought they were grey,” Erwin admitted, inching closer.

Levi shifted forward, too, one corner of his mouth twitching up into that endearing smirk. “You're the only weirdo I know who is happy to be proven wrong.”

“How could I not be?” Erwin was smiling and his hand was cupping Levi's cheek once more. “You have beautiful eyes.”

Levi ducked his head down immediately. “Shut the fuck up, Erwin.”

Erwin chuckled, then leaned forward. There was less than an inch of space between them, and Erwin closed it by resting his forehead on his.

“I apologise if I offended your delicate sensibilities by calling you beautiful.” He grinned.

Levi's fists were resting on his chest now. “I said shut _up_ , asshole.”

“Alright.” Erwin closed his eyes, revelling in the warm feeling in his chest. Even now, it was a little difficult to imagine this was real. Even now, he felt something like guilt, for letting himself have this -have _Levi_ \- after all the sins he had committed in his life. Even now, he could not believe Levi was here with him, that Levi was _with_ him, willingly-

“Go to sleep, Erwin.” His palm was pressed on Erwin's chest yet again, and Erwin knew he could feel the way his heart was practically _thrumming_.

Erwin swung his arm over Levi's side and pulled him in closer. “Alright,” he whispered again into his hair.

He felt his fingers clench. “Next time,” Levi muttered, “I'm gonna break your legs first. Talk later.”

Erwin sighed softly, closing his eyes, smiling without even realising it. He pressed his lips onto Levi's head again.

“Alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well, that's that. I... Really have nothing more to say. The Eruri feels have overwhelmed me. :(
> 
> Still, do let me know what you guys think! Erwin's POV is not always easy for me, so I hope it came across as authentic enough? And what about the fluff? Were the eruris too OOC?
> 
> Leave me a comment and tell me what you think!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
